There has always been a dimension of self-pity in anniversaries. A shocking feeling. Why are everyone doing like this today – you start thinking in your mind – so many smiles, so many bouquets and concessions, so happy faces. Please, do it everyday as it happens, as you get twilight, you sit in awe and say. The heart becomes soft due to discomfort.
But this is a matter of my heart, after all, there are some principles of Daur-e-Jahan. People who have a relationship with you, they want to give you a tribute. I want to express my thoughts and feelings to you. There is no way to say like that on the eagle day, but it is not right to do so on special days. Anniversary day is a special day. That day, the gifts and gifts sent to your name are accompanied by a heartbeat.
When I was younger, I was told that the thirteenth April is your anniversary. From that day onwards, I began to see this day in a different light. I think, all the days of the year on one side and the thirteenth April on the other side. When I saw this date on the calendar, I would feel like a crown is hanging on its head.
Then one day, my anniversary was being celebrated. Yellow rice was cooked in the dish. It had lavang and lachidana, which was smelling good. Saffron color had blossomed into it. School friends were served. The saucers and rakbis were decorated. Sweet rice was served. My father extended a spoonful of sweet towards me. The celebration started as soon as there was a sudden noise. A boy fell while running. His finger was cut off and the fountain of blood exploded. The women ran towards him, everyone’s attention was drawn towards him. Only my father smiled looking at me. I remember that scene today – my sweet smiling father with sweet rice in a spoon, and my heart was overwhelmed by the accident that just happened.
That day I realized that the anniversary day is very special, but on that day it is not necessary that everyone should be happy and pleasant.
Then a few years after that, that day of the anniversary, when the whole day was good. By evening, the syrup was prepared. I brought milk and Gulabkhas from the market, but the snow was nowhere to be found. Without ice, the syrup is sweet water. It was being run in the same way that someone bumped into someone at the turn. He took very heavy abuses. I strangled Don’t you know, today is my anniversary – I said in my heart – couldn’t you smile and say “no problem”? If he had known it, he would have done exactly that, but the anniversary was mine, what did the world want from him. Sarkar-Bahadur did not give any money for this.
By the time I was young, the feeling of hopelessness had settled in my heart. When I was twenty five years old, to avoid the anniversary celebration, I took leave by applying to the office. Turned off the phone to avoid congratulations. No one came home and threatened, picked up the bicycle from this order and sat at a railway tason away from the city. Late Talak kept watching the movement of trains. Heart was filled with relief. But as soon as Zhutputa deepened, guilt ensued in the mind. Know how many bouquets I refused to accept today, what right did I have to do that. When I reached home, my mother rebuked for this cruelty. The next day arrived at the office with a box of sweets and smilingly smashed everyone. But he was more sorry, less passionate.
This year I completed thirty-eight years of my age. Moving beyond the boyish feelings of youth and youth, it now seems that life has come to an end. The character has come to a standstill. It became something like a stage. Some names were also made. Gaya year my birthday came during deep depression. Before that in the days of mourning, when there was sorrow in the house. 2012 would be my best birthday, I had agreed in my mind. Now nothing can go wrong, everything that had to happen is done. My books were shaded, read and appreciated after years of waiting. It was very painful.
But as TS Elliot has said — the month of April is a great reprimand — this anniversary has also come at a time when there is an alarm in the world. People’s hearts are immersed in forward-looking. Despite this, they try to smile and send anniversary bouquets and greetings, because Shay, named Zindagi, is not ready to give up so easily. I was hopeful that after the thirteenth april I would have an affair to celebrate, it would be over in two thousand twenty, but it has remained in its place. Then those old habits were kept from going well and now, which indicates to be scared and embarrassed when life is kind.
Despite this, I will be called Bada Nashukra, who should not present himself in front of your love. I have a lot of trouble with the expression of your attachment. I also consider myself lucky. I have received many messages, I have not been able to answer them all yet. But in my heart, there are great blessings for all of you. You be happy Life is a complicated thing and her nature is so much that she deals with today’s happiness and today’s grief. What happened thirty-eight years ago, it does not concern him much. Even so, these are not very happy days.
Ghaliban, when this sun of the thirteenth april continues to sink, then I too will be included in your life’s most important place. Until then, on this confirmed day, your very best Ehtram!